16 kisses

A needle prick for every lie.

54 hours.

Leave me out with the waste 
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you

It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright? Yeah..
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright? Yeah..
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? 

Birthday girl

By unknown

Let's destroy each other. 

'Cause we're too cool for love lines, 

Soft kisses over cheap wine. 

Smoke me baby like your last cigarette.

Whisper to me, say you'll never forget. 

Could you break my heart a little more? 

Shove my body up against yours & kiss me like you mean it? 

Anything worth a taste burns as it goes down. 

Could you tell me I'm so Audrey Hepburn when my hair falls to the side? 

And say "Girl, I'm not here to love you tender, I'm just here for the ride."

Let's blind ourselves by love and be deaf to all who say it's fatal. 

It's not that we don't know, it's just that we don't care.

And I wrote this on Dec 19 2006:

Take me in your arms
And kiss me like the movies
And whisper forever in my ears

Lets make plans for the future
And none for today

Pick me up and kiss me against a wall
And light my cigarettes

Let's do shots of something hard
And take care of each other
When we can't get off the floor

Can we fight over the check one more time?
Or who is going to open the door first?

Let's forget what they say
About it being toe early
For love
And stare into each others eyes
For just one more moment

Let's kiss away the agony
And the afflictions of life
And swim in sheets of passion
Until the sun comes up

Let's fall asleep in each others arms
And wake up in the afternoon
Let's take walks on the beach
And dedicate songs to one another

Let's forget the past, because really,
Was there anyone before us?

Let's find out what it truly means
To make love
And let me find out what it means
To cry from happiness

Let's risk everything
Our sanity, emotions, and especially our 

Hearts
(Because when you love someone
They become your heart)
So yes!
Let's risk our very hearts
Being torn from our chests
And the pain that would bring
For the small hope
That takes up everything in our minds
That this will last

Forever

I'll be fixing it up later, I think. The anonymous poem inspires me, as it always has. 

Also, happy birthday to me! :)

Here we go again

I kind of want to be more than friends. 





Oh, oh

What are you waiting for?













Take a bite of my heart tonight. 









I want some more.

Early Morning (Written December 14th, 2005)

Early Morning

I am smeared Urban Decay

Lines in your bedpost

And a half burned cigarette, stained red.

I am chapped lips

A hollowed hallelujah

And your burnt thanksgiving dinner.
(I am close to trusting, but self-destructing
From the inside, out in this
Early morning.)
I am a torn silk scarf
Or a crumpled tissue
And a little girl hiding under my piling perfumes.
I am a water stained book
With pages torn out
Pages never read
And pages too shameful to write.
I am uneven stilettos
A box in the attic
And a sweater returned after Christmas.
I am a body without a name
A bell never chimed
and a chipped french manicure.
I am a condemned sinner
Who laughs at hope
And hopes for sainthood.
I am a letter never read
And a rose thrown away
Bleeding crimson on your white carpet.
I am the girl you don't name
The relative you never mention
And a perfectionist trapped horribly flawed.
I am loathed by little
And longing for the love
That I am too ashamed to ask for.
(Desperate for you to look
And terrified you will see
What I am undressing.)

by me

You and I by Ju

You are
delicious
And I am
greedy.
You are
generous
And I am
needy.
You are
experienced
And I am
learning.
You are
flammable
And I am
burning.

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/you-and-i-8/#ixzz17hJHFZog

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/you-and-i-8/

Home

Pieces

Saying goodbye to you.

No matter what anger there is, there are amazing memories. 

And saying goodbye to what I thought was. 

He tastes like you, only sweeter.

I know we're separated, but I felt guilty for laying in his arms. I had a twinge of "This isn't right.."After he was made me orgasm for the second time that night.

You've fucked up again, and this time you took something from your child. Or at least, you would have if I didn't sacrifice more. But I did, so you took something from me. Again.

I say we go for some more honesty! Honestly? I faked it with you most of the time. The only times you were ever able to please me were just like when you do anything right. I had to do it for you.

I will not put myself behind you ever again.

When I pick you up from the airport so you can see your child for a couple hours? Understand that smile isn't for you.

That smile will be from the previous night. That night? That's my present to myself. A present of sweat and bodily fluids, moans and every dirty thing I can think of. Someone finally fucking me right.

When you hug me, I hope you can smell him still on my skin. The skin that you will never be allowed to touch with your unfaithful hands, your lying lips.

Goodbye, lover. I do not belong to you any longer.

Pictures that made me giggle

The camera went off before I was ready, so ignored it. The placement of the cat made me giggle hard, though. 

And this one tickled me more than it should have. 

Taking a sexy picture is liberating.

And I took a lot. Here's one.

More.

I am swimming surviving in memories colliding

A spark in the wind I am burning out brightly

Instigating insatiable insanity

Eat my heart alive (“Alive with the glory of…”)

Glory, glory! A harpy hallelujah I am coming

(I am coming for you)

A Saturday night dazzles the darkness

An aphrodisiac for Sunday morning

(Mourning the lie)

A grief that takes hold of the neck of the soul And I and I

(Good morning, lover)

I want more.

Outsourced makes me laugh.

Tarot

The Fool Possibility. Lightheartedness. Change. Foolishness. Childlike. The Magician Male figure of creation. Experience. Guide or trickster. The High Priestess Magic. Intuition. Goddess of the occult. The subconscious.
The Empress Passion. Fertility. Abundance and stability. Nurture. The Emperor Battle. Justice. Protection. The Man. Authority. The Hierophant Religion. Wisdom. Teacher. Tradition and conformity. The Lovers Connection. Love. Innocence. A choice. The Chariot Dawn. Victory. Control and stability. Path illuminated. Justice Balance. Truth. Fairness in contract and litigation. The Hermit Need to get away from distractions. Looking for answers. Self-examination. The Wheel Luck. Karma. Change is coming. Life goes in cycles. Strength Intelligence and self control. Discipline. Courage. The Hanged Man Suspension. Martyrdom. Need to let go. Sacrifice for changing circumstance Death Sacrifice. Life cycle. Rebirth. Transition. Temperance Time for reflection. Moderation. Patience. Clash between old and new. Adaptation. The Devil Temptation. Addiction. Sexuality. Self constraints of negativity. Primal energy The Tower Shaken foundation and disaster. Fear and pain with crisis. Boom. The Stars Hope. Spirituality. Inspiration. Harmony. To become aware. The Moon Mystery. Fear. Illusion. Emotional confusion. Light reveals, darkness conceals. Changes. The Sun Beauty. Warmth. Radiate achievements. Simple happiness. Judgment Inner calling. Learned from past. Breakthrough. The World Life from nothing. Pending climax. Improvement coming.

Change

Rain

Rain

She could taste the rain. It was five in the morning and she hadn’t been to sleep yet. The door opened slowly with a long creak and she smiled as she felt his lips on her neck before he sat next to her. Thunder rolled.

I like the way the grass smells when it rains in Texas. It’s different than anything else,” she said and he passed the bottle of Jack Daniels that was left over. She took a sip and felt the burn like the tide. It was smooth as the small rivers ran down the sides of the road. She watched a leaf lit by the cracks of lightning as it was carried around the bend. She leaned into him.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. Today. Your hair smells like oranges.” He said when the wind picked up. He was movings his finger tips up and down her arm. The humidity made his fingers bounce off of her skin whenever he changed directions. She nodded into his shoulder and took another sip.

It was why they were slow, drunk and happy at six in the morning; Sleeping felt like a waste of time when he was leaving in only hours. He hummed Fortunate Fool by Jack Johnson and kissed her temple.

She shifted and turned to face him. He stopped touching her to take a drink. They were always thirsty. She said, “What if… When you come back home, you come to me?”

He looked away before he looked back, focusing on everything about her face except her eyes until he answered. “What if… You were my home?” He touched her bottom lip with his thumb.

She kissed him slowly at first. His kiss was late nights with thunderstorm sunrise. It was hot showers and the smell of his shirt after he was gone. The kiss was whiskey and the taste of rain.

Poems about my marriage

 

My heart's level levity

Satisfied like a ripened plum dripping down your chin

Feels so good it must be a sin
Like laying on the hood of your car
Watching the stars
But wishing on Venus and Mars

I am the moon on your shoulder
Lighting the snow like the sun
Spinning sentiment sung
Floating where the restful river runs

Conned; A compromised conniption
With wine flushing your perfect diction
And finger tips feel like pages of fiction
Evergreen eyelashes crash

I am passed the fall
Broken into the wall
Click clack boom crack and I snap back back back
Roses purple black to keep track
Where I lack.
A screaming fuck, a fight, a flight and stolen insight
Indulging in gasoline to put the fire out
And I’m not, I’m sure, I’m sure what this is about
A shaking breaking taking body and a clean fast
A harboring hand and a grateful gasp
A bleeding fist and heavy eyes
A kick to the side to break the ties
And I burn for these lies


I am four knocks on your door
Ripped stockings and lips on your collar bone
A dress in the wind hair whipping around my face
I can see you there
Right there.
I am your moltave cocktail
One dangerous drink, Draga
I can feel your uniform against my skin
Like a 5 oclock shadow scratching my inner thigh
I’ll drink you in like I’m in the desert
I’m dying and so, so
Thirsty
Your jeans are still warm from when you were in them


Hallelujah

Praying for grace
From child to mother and wife
A confirmation butterflies like teary eyes
A kiss that soothes even a rabbit’s heart
Shaking in a cold sweat of what ifs
Sleepless nights for my morning moon
A heartbeat to catch my breath
Like a kiss on a wedding night
A new tide in a crystal sea
The unknowns almost as great as the love
A leap into open arms
A hope, my heart, my husband
My home like a passing in the night
A grateful Hallelujah





Away

Distance is a sharp blade in the night
The piercing pain presented in poison
That we ignore
Hugging a pillow to distill the absence
Telling myself that I don’t need to be touched
My aching lips mourn
A shaky breath to push it aside
A slow grief with hope attached
There is nothing
Only your voice
Only your touch
Only your hands
Only your scent
Only your arms
Only your hold, your kiss, your caress
Only you carry me
Put my heart on hold
To keep this candle burning